This is pretty much moderate “hi”. I’m not overly excited or too reserved atm. I’m just super chill. You know you can tell a vibe just the amount of extra letters. Lol.
That aside, how have you been? I’ve not spoken to you in a minute. I missed you. I missed talking to you. But here’s the thing. I speak to you in my mind. I connect with you when I can, and I really hope and wish that you’re doing okay all the time.
I’ve not been a hundred percent. My anxiety has been over the top for the past few weeks. I have exams too. My mental health – 0 School – 5. I’ve had anxiety attacks , you know , all that stuff that just makes you so not yourself.
My exams have been okay. I’ve been studying like crazyyyy. When this is over, I’m spoiling myself because I deserve it. (You can donate to the cause sha. Send me a mail).
So far, this year, I’ve been figuring things out about myself. I feel like I’m on another level of self awareness. Its more like self discovery. They mean the same thing right? Or??. Anyway, It’s not as smooth as it sounds. It’s a lot of things put together, which I’ll be sharing at different times. I’ll start with something that has been on my mind for a while now.
I’ve been reflecting on stuff a lot more . (With a sprinkle of overthinking, but you know how this goes right?) and I’ve come to realize that, there are times my actions have broken people.
Most of the time, I think about how people have hurt me. Not like i don’t think of how I’ve hurt people, but most times, the hurt I think about is the ones that other people have made me feel, it’s seldom that I think about the impact of the hurt I have done to others.
I’m not always the great guy. I am the villain sometimes. You’re not always the great guy. And honestly, I think at certain points , we are the villains we talk about, the people who do the exact things we swear we would never do, the hypocrites.
It’s why it is encouraged not to speak about something until you’ve gone through it. That’s another blogpost entirely.
Accepting that you’re the villain sometimes and not the perfect person, is the first step to you know, I don’t know, change your perspective- well, sort of. You see things differently. It’s like accepting your flaws but the one towards other people, owning it and putting in conscious effort for it not to repeat itself with other people.
It’s double checking yourself. If you do this, I think it’d have an impact on your life and how you do things and react to certain situations.
Watch what you say. It can be you. You could find yourself in that position, and somehow, you’d be shocked by your own actions.
Do you agree?
I’ll be posting daily. See you tomorrow. If anxiety doesn’t win me in this fight .
P.s: new theme. I’m loving it. Are you? ☺️