Babygirl week day 3! I’d like to talk about forgiveness. My friend (mentor) shared nuggets from a book with me on Sunday evening. Dominic dear I know you’re seeing this. Just send that book. It’ll make my life easy. Every single part of what I read made a whole lot of sense, but I’d like to share the part about forgiveness with you today.
Your willingness to forgive is not a weakness. When your compassion is used against you, show yourself compassion and walk away.
“Are you really going to forgive her after what she has done to you?” “How are the both of you still friends?” ” i thought you said you have forgiven her, why are y’all not talking?” There are a lot of questions I’ve been asked when it comes forgiveness. Many many scenarios. I’ve always wanted to write about forgiveness but honestly , I’m not sure what to write because i feel people see it differently. But here goes.
Forgiving people isn’t quite easy as it sounds. To some it may be really easy.” she did this to me but Smalls”. And to others, the opposite. “God forbid” When someone is trying to persuade you to forgive they say “be the bigger person, just let it go “. Sometimes it may feel like your bringing down all your hard guy to forgive the person. Point is, it’s different with people.
I’m a very forgiving person. When the worst things are done to me,sometimes I forgive and continue talking to the person, other times I forgive and just move far from them . No bad vibes , nothing. I just don’t want to continue that sort of relationship. Protecting my mental health has always been a priority to me. Also, there’re times where I just distance myself after trying to make things right obviously and just x. I used to feel some type of way about not keeping certain relationships anymore after they’ve offended me repeatedly, and I’ve had people ask me questions like “i thought y’all are cool. Why are y’all not talking?” Sis, I’m cool. I just don’t want to continue talking steady steady. I mean I’d talk to you. But not all those forced conversations and all that.
A lot of people thought it unreasonable me feeling that type of way . “You’re still supposed to talk to the person” ” if you’re not close anymore that means you’ve not forgiven “. Now that I saw that, I’ve found a way to explain to people that, there’s nothing wrong. I just, I just want to grow and learn from this. I’m showing myself compassion by walking away. Not walking away away, but things would not just go back to the way it used to be.
You can forgive someone and still not feel the need to continue whatever kind of relationship- friendships and all that. And that’s okay. When a certain individual starts to use your compassion against you, show yourself compassion by walking away. The ones that hurt you repeatedly, aka the toxic people. Just show yourself love and move. There’ll probably be disagreements on this . But I just feel that even after forgiveness, there are some relationships you should stay away from. Forgiveness makes you lighter. Even if it’s hard sometimes . That right there is protecting your mental health , and doing it for you.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to continue relationships. You’ve offended someone before . You’ve hurt someone before. At some point you’ve been toxic. And then when someone decides to stay away from you because you hurt them, that’s okay too. It happens. You can’t always be the great guy. And if it’s for no reason, let it be. You can find out what you did and if it’s nothing, carry your body please dear.
In conclusion, Forgive people. Forgive yourself. Show yourself love. You deserve the same type of love you give out. You’re amazing. It’s from all these forced conversations after the “we’re cool now” that brings about fake love and all those unnecessary underground drama. Just breathe. Take time to heal. I feel like I just said a whole lot but, it’s finally out of my mind.
Love ya! See you tomorrow ✨